Another day spent revising my manuscript. 
I’ve read and reread my manuscript so much now that it is both extremely boring and also doesn’t make any sense anymore.
I am not afraid of writing what I am scared of. That’s almost necessary in a way. I am also not afraid of success (n0, seriously!). But I am afraid. And I am afraid of the reception the book will get.
I’m the type of person who wants everyone happy. So I want everyone to love my book. And I know very well how impossible this it. So I keep reading reviews at sites like Dear Author and Smart Bitches and everytime a reviewer mention something, say that heroine was silly, I worry that they will say the same about mine.
My head is full of reviewers critiques, all negatives, all adapted to my book. I have a lot of imagination after all. It’s quite easy to see all those reviewers canning my book.
My heroine is weak. That’s whay I heard from contest judges and critique group. And yes, from my editor (although my editor saw her nurturing side and knew it could be fixed. But it’s harder to portrait a heroine that is more “real” (IMO) when all the paranormal romance out there show kick-ass girls taking on to save the world.
So now I am obsessively looking for places to change where yes Lily is too weak. She’s definitely more of a Twilight Bella then a Lara Croft. But I like her that way 
In the end, I don’t know. I just have to plod along, make it the best I can and face the reviews when they come. Lucky for me, it’s still a long way away!
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